Chapter 15: What Can We Do?

Apr 6

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For People Who Are Currently in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

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Document everything

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· If you’re not ready to leave after the first sign of abuse, document and journal everything so gaslighting attempts can be challenged later.

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Grey Rock and Yellow Rock

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· When responding to emotional abuse, try not to react emotionally in ways that invite DARVO accusations.

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· Popularized by trauma counselor Skylar Fisher, the Gray Rock Method advocates for becoming as uninteresting as a gray rock to deter narcissistic attention. This involves minimal emotional engagement, neutral responses, and an overall lack of visible reaction.

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· Unlike the Gray Rock Method’s complete emotional disengagement, Yellow Rocking maintains a veneer of friendliness. This approach involves keeping conversations light and superficial, responding with polite but brief answers, and maintaining a pleasant tone without deep emotional investment.

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See a therapist and tell people about the abuse

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· This provides both documentation and emotional support during a very difficult time.

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Make plans to leave quietly

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· Don’t announce your departure. When you have all your ducks in a row, leave silently.

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Trust your gut

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· If something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. Trust your instincts and the perspectives of trusted loved ones.